File This Under The YOU GOTTA BE #$%^&* KIDDING ME Category.. AGAIN!!!!

... it just keeps getting better and better!!

So.. if you don't know what happened with the whole Western Union thing, you can read it HERE

Or if you don't have time, then the cliff note version is that I tried to send money via Western Union Online and was told by a customer service rep that they would not allow the transaction to finalize because my cell phone was not in my name and neither is the home phone.

I know.. you just had a WFT moment. I can relate. But the important thing to know is that I specifically ASKED if there was going to be an issue with my bank account because I could not have TWO 400.00+ charges. And it's also important to know that the customer service rep told me that I absolutely.. positively.. had NOTHING to worry about.

Got that?

I'll repeat it again..

In caps .. just in case you're a little hard of hearing:

THE CUSTOMER SERVICE REP TOLD ME THAT I ABSOLUTELY.. POSITIVELY.. HAD NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT.

You know me, right? You've been reading this blog and all my other blogs for a while now, haven't you? So you know what's coming, right?

Earlier this evening, I go online to check my account balance. I always do that. At least five or six times a day. When you don't have money, you kind of get anal about keeping track of it. And guess what I found???

See that? It's an overdraft fee for 105.00.

Do you happen to see anything that looks like a negative balance? No.. you do not.

So.. like.. WTF??? right?

I dig a little deeper and find this under the pending transactions:

Ok..

So it's obvious to me that the 438.00 transaction was returned.. or taken off hold.. but not as fast as Western Union originally took it. There was only like.. no more then a half hour.. between starting the first attempt and finalizing the second attempt..

And this was a Wednesday so it wasn't like there was the weekend to contend with ..

So I call my bank and talk to Jamal. Nice guy .. very professional. I explain to him what the situation is and he tells me that TECHNICALLY I did over draft because I authorized the transaction. I told him that it was ridiculous.. and a few other things that I won't repeat here.. and when I asked him if he agreed with me, he said he did. On a recorded phone call. Props to him.

When I said, "... so I'm going to have to eat this?" I already had plans on going to the branch office bright and early and having a *cough cough* discussion with the branch manager. But Jamal told me that I needed to call Western Union.. that they are responsible for reimbursing me.

Oh. Ok. Another chance to go off on them since my first time was cut off by Tim. Cool.

So I call and get some dude that I can't understand. I'm more polite then I think the situation warrants but yknow.. I believe I'm going to have more then enough opportunity to lash out on these people.

I explain what happened and in the middle of it.. Tim comes in the bedroom from taking a shower and having overheard the conversation I had with the bank, HE starts going off about it. Now I have some dude that I can't understand in one ear.. Tim yelling in the other ear.. and yknow.. if you know Tim and how much he HATES when I try to talk when he's on the phone then you'll understand why I was like SHUT THE FUCK UP, WILL YA??

I go back to the call and the dude must have been like ".. uh uh.. nope.. they don't pay me enough for this" because the next thing I know there's a ringing on the line and some chick answers. Her name starts with a B and even though she spelled it for me, I still don't remember it. Bria.. Brianne.. Briar.. something like that.

Anyway.. it's SO DAMN OBVIOUS that's she's reading from a script ".. yes, Lisa.. may I ask how you are doing this evening?"

OBVIOUSLY, not peachy since I had to call YOU on a Sunday night, right?

Yes. I did say that.

Once again I explain what happened and she asks me all kinds of details about the transaction.. who it was going to .. where it was going to.. etc. etc. She THEN tells me that she will have my money returned.

Excuse me? WHAT?

She said to give her a few minutes and that she will make sure that my overdraft fees are returned.

OM effin' G!

She asks for the telephone number of the bank .. and then says that she will forward the information to her supervisor for approval.. then they will call the bank and I'll have my money issued in about two hours.

Could it really be that easy? Remember.. we're talking ME here!

Tim says that it makes sense that they will so willingly pay for over draft fees resulting in something they did because they cancelled the transaction.. and that would open them up to a lawsuit which would wind up costing them more then 105.00.

He also said that the bank is at fault also because the actual money NEVER left my account.

He has a thing with banks in general and think their sole purpose is to rip you off but I see his point.

As of now, there's been no activity on my account that I can see online but tomorrow morning I'll call and see what the dealio is ..

I'll keep you updated.

File This Under The YOU GOTTA BE #$%^&* KIDDING ME Category

Ok.

So I'll post about this later but me and the man made one of those life decisions that sort of get stuck in your throat after it's finalized.

You know what I mean, right?

Anyway.. this one happened to include sending money via Western Union.

I never had to use Western Union before and being that we're in the age of technology, I did what everyone with a laptop perched on their lap would do.. I went to their website.

All good so far.

I had to create an account which always bugs me because you can't do ANYTHING anymore without creating an account and if I was Mel Gibson in the Conspiracy Theory, I would think that creating accounts have become the government's way of tracking your every move.

Oh wait. Mel was actually right in that movie, huh?

Anyway.. so I create the account and with the dude who's receiving the money on the phone, I filled out all the information they wanted including two phone numbers.

So far.. so good.

Then it tells me that same day transfers cost 38.00. Um.. excuse me? 38.00 to have the money picked up the same day I sent it?? You're kidding me, right?? I mean, I am a capitalist at heart so I don't object to companies making a profit but 38 FUCKING dollars?

This is a WIRE transfer for God's sake.. basically shifting numbers on paper .. it's not like some cowboy jumped on a horse with a satchel of cash and rode non-stop to a destination.

Nothing I can do about it though so I go ahead and hit SEND, a message pops up saying that I had to call their customer service department because I had to verify information.

Um.. okkkkkkaaayyyyy.. so maybe it's because it was a new account? Maybe this was just standard practice?? Dunno .. because I've never done this before!

I call and talk to the lovely :: read that as dripping with heavy sarcasm :: Monica. She asks me basic questions.. tells me that my transfer is ALMOST completed and would call me once it is finalized.

Ok. Whatever. I say "fine".

She asks me if the phone number I gave is the correct number, I say it is and then she asks the million dollar question:

IS THIS YOUR CELL PHONE NUMBER?

I tell her it is and then there's this llllooooonnnngggg pause before she tells me that the cell phone isn't coming up in my name.

Ooohhhh... yea... THAT.

See.. a few Christmas' ago, Tim got me a crappy little PCS Metro cell phone. If you're not familiar, PCS Metro has unlimited phone / text / internet service for a flat rate with no contracts. You can buy a phone and sign up for service and basically use any name you want. They don't care.. as long as you pay the bill.

His romantic way of proposing was to get me this cell phone registered with my new "married" name.. and like all the other "nice" things that he does, it came back and bit me in the ass!

I explain to Monica why the cell phone doesn't have the same last name that my bank account does and she tells me that even though she understands, WU policy states that they can't release funds unless the phone number is in the sender's name.

Huh?

What?

She asks me if the other number I listed as a contact is under my name.

Actually, MONICA, it isn't because that service is under HIS name.

She says she can't do anything but cancel the transaction. WU Policy.

This is where my Italian starts rising and I get loud and tell her that this is bullshit and that I can give her any kind of information she wanted because the dude is waiting at the counter on HIS end to pick up the money.

Nope. All she wants is a phone number listed under the same name that's on my bank account.

WU policy.

Now, let me tell you that while I do understand that this woman is only doing her job. But that isn't doing one damn thing for me and it isn't helping matters much that Tim is in my OTHER ear repeating "... let's just go to 7-11 .. let's just go to 7-11"

Nooooo... I'm PISSED and I'm going to be PISSED and if there's one thing that he should have learned a long time ago is that if I don't get PISSED at the person who should be the object of my PISSED then it's going to be redirected at him.

Sometimes.. he's not so smart.

So I continue telling Monica where she and WU can stick their policy and how stupid their policy is because of ALL the things they can require for security, a phone number ISN'T  it .. because, really, how many people do NOT have their phone service in their names? Think about a house number.. think about cell phone family plans.. I mean, it's just ridiculous.

I guess it did make a little sense to her because after she told me that I could just go somewhere in person with just my driver's license to put the money through, she came me a promotional code to give me half off the same day fee.

Which I also told her was bullshit for moving numbers around on paper.

Ok. Now. With ALL THAT said... AND a half an hour until we had to be at Josh's school for a parent/teacher conference..

There's this little debate that goes on about whether or not the local supermarket has WU .. I say it does.. he insists that it doesn't .. I remind him that he also insisted that yeast was not in the refrigerated section when I clearly knew that it was and so we spent 20 minutes in the baking aisle until I get tired of looking at him stare at shelves of flour and went and got the yeast in the REFRIGERATED section..

Off to the supermarket we go...

Sure enough.. right there on the counter .. was a BIG WU display. I grab a form.. and me, who generally has half a dozen pens on me .. didn't have a single one. This at a supermarket the day before Thanksgiving with 15 minutes left before the meeting with Josh's teacher.

Tim winds up wrangling on from somewhere and I fill out the form. When the woman behind the counter is ready to do the transaction, I start telling her about my experience with the online service and right away she cuts me off and goes on this rant about how there is SOOOO MUCH fraud and they have to be REALLY secure blah blah blah.

I knew I wasn't going to win a conversion here so I just put my debit card and driver's license on the counter. She keys the information into her computer and swiped my card. She shoves my driver's license back and me and says, ".. oh, I don't need to say that."

Wait.

WHAT?

You just went on and on about how WU has all this fraud and how they have to implement strong securities and blah blah blah... I can't send money online because my phone isn't in the same name as my bank account but you'll let me swipe a card without checking to see if that I'M the actual cardholder????

Are you FUCKING KIDDING ME?

I think Tim recognized the face that I make when I'm about to go off on principle so he mentioned how he felt bad that the dude waiting for his money and how we only had five minutes to get to the school for the teacher's conference.

Point made.

But can I at least mention that I was literally thisdamnclose to jumping over the counter and strangling the bitch when she was folding and refolding and refolding and stapling and stapling and stapling the receipts?

FINALLY we were finished and when she circled the transaction number, Tim asked if that was information that the dude who was waiting for the money needed. She said, "... nah. It may make the transaction go faster but he really doesn't need it."

Guess again.

We called the dude to tell him the transaction was complete and headed off to the school.

Not FIFTEEN MINUTES later, guess what?

The dude calls.. and guess what he needs?

Yep.. the freakin' transaction number.

So kids.. learn a lesson here. If you have to wire money, do yourself a favor and get a money order and overnight it. It's cheaper and you won't wind up spitting fire through your teeth!