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| .. a stupid one, at that. |
The vaginal incubator that is the boy's mother has does some pretty fucked up things over the years that I've been around.
Without thinking, I can rattle off at least a dozen times when I wasjustthingclose to dropping her on her ass. Because.. you know.. the people that know me in real life know that I can cash any check I write.
The only thing stopping me is the fact that I have a lot more brain cells then she does and the only things I ingest to alter my mood are Sweet Tarts.
Given that she has a penchant for bogus lawsuits, I'm smart enough to NOT knock her on her ass.
However...
Considering that right now, the only thing I own is a 15 year old station wagon and have no viable income AND considering her latest antic.. all fucking bets are off.
Monday night, the youngest one wanted to go to youth group because it was his way of getting out of homework. He hasn't been to youth group on five weeks because he wanted to sit on his ass and play video games. But after asking if he had homework to do (he did) he right away wanted to go and got a pissy attitude about it.
You want to get mouthy? Well, guess what? I'm not going to waste the fumes I had left in the car.
So he calls the vaginal incubator and she takes him.
Youth group ends at 9 and at 9:20, my cell phone rings. He needed to get picked up. I wasn't about to stop doing what I was doing, so his father got dressed and went to get his simple ass.
I went into the kitchen.. put some popcorn in the microwave.. went to the bathroom while it was popping and then back into the kitchen to wait for it to finish.. and then headed back to the bedroom.
So what was that? 2.5 minutes??? Maybe.. MAYBE three??
Soon as I get back on the bed, my cell phone rings. It's the idiot calling from the vaginal incubators cell phone asking if his father was on his way to pick him up.
I told him he was and asked him were HE was at. Well, I KNEW where he was at, I just wanted to know where between the church and the house he was. I could hear her screeching in the background but couldn't hear what she was screeching about. Because she's ALWAYS screeching about something.
The idiot asks me to get a hold of his father and tell him that the vaginal incubator picked him up.
Well.. idiot.. I CAN'T because YOU know as well as I KNOW that your father doesn't have a cell phone and doesn't want one.
They were only a few blocks from the church so I tell him that he has to go back to the church to catch up with his father because his father isn't going to know where he's at.
Not five minutes later, the idiot walks in the door. He tells me that the vaginal incubator wouldn't turn around and go back to the church.
Let me say that again for all of you who might have missed it.
SHE WOULD NOT TURN THE CAR AROUND AND DRIVE THE THREE BLOCKS BACK TO THE CHURCH.
Are you FUCKING kidding me? How bad do you really want that Queen of Cunts tiara? Oh wait.. wait.. you already wear it.
So I ask the idiot WHY he called his father if he knew the vaginal incubator was picking him up? Ooohh.. because she was 20 MINUTES late...
Annnd WHY didn't you just wait there until you father showed up since you already called him to pick you up??
Blank stare.
So NOW, I tell the idiot, you father is in a freezing church parking lot at almost 9:40 at night worrying about where THE FUCK YOU ARE.. because you don't think of anyone BUT yourself and didn't stay. And there's NO WAY to get in touch with him.
There was nothing else for me to do but walk the 3 miles to the church and try to catch his father there or on the roads back to the house. The middle kid asked me if I wanted him to call his mother.. and I was like I. WILL. DROP. HER. ON. HER. ASS. SO. HARD. SHE'LL. HAVE. A. REASON. TO. POP. PAIN. PILLS.
He did offer to walk me but I didn't want to be anywhere near anything or anybody that shared their DNA.
And let me tell you.. I was SO hot, that I didn't even feel the 30 degree weather.
I got almost about half way there when my cell rang and it was the middle kid. I could hear his father screaming at the top of his lungs at the idiot but if you ask me, he was screaming at the wrong person. But that's a whole different post for a different time because he can be a bad ass towards his kids but a major pussy when it comes to the vaginal incubator.
So I get back to the house and I go into the bedroom and I tell their father what happened on this end.. and I say to him that what she did was the ultimate "fuck you" .. he just said "yea" and I wanted to drop him on his fucking ass.
See.. they have child support court on Thursday.
They have child support court on Thursday because she hasn't paid child support in three months. She called up Monday morning and told him to call the courts and request a continuance. Are you fucking KIDDING me? She's also under the impression that HE called and reported the non payment ( um, like SHE would do if the tables were turned and he was like.. I don't know.. five minutes late with the check? ).
Why she insists on NOT believing that the court will automatically send a summons when you miss three months of payments is beyond me.. I mean, it's not like we haven't been through this before.. more then a time or two.
She even told her kids, ".. your asshole father is taking me to court because I missed one month".
The best was THREE MONTHS AGO when they were summons to court because she has missed the previous three months of payments. She called up asking him where she needs to send the check.
Really? Because.. um... you've PAID before so like.. why exactly wouldn't you know how to do it??
Heh .. well, I think I have an answer to that stemming from a conversation I had with one of her *cough* gentleman friends *cough* but yknow.. it's not confirmed. I will say that all the puzzle pieces fit and it's a pretty warped fucking picture.
And you know.. like Judge Judy says, "... you picked her to make a baby with" so you get what you deserve. Only I don't deserve it and I'm not putting up with the bullshit anymore.
So men, take it from me, before you unzip your pants and are too lazy to wrap it up in plastic wrap do yourself a favor and push for an in-depth psychological exam. It's going to save you A LOT of drama later on in life.
And don't hand over your balls. Women with their shit together won't respect you.
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