I Fell Apart..

I'm a CD buyer ...

I'll hear a song on the radio that I get obsessed with and instead of just downloading the song, I'll get the CD because you never know what gems your going to find.

Some of my all time favorite songs have never been played on the radio.

Anyway.. so a few weeks ago my mom gave me a bunch of stuff that I had left over at her house when I moved out. There were three discs that had pictures on them going back to 2001.

Interesting, to say the least.

The goal was to copy and organize them onto my laptop because 1) I'm an organization freak and 2) I just can't let go of pictures.

Today wasn't the best of days.. I loathe working 7 days because my "job" doesn't only consist of standing behind a counter slicing lunch meat.. I have to clean the house and do the laundry and feed the dogs and don the hazmat suit to clean the bathroom.. you get the idea. And of course, if I don't do it it doesn't get done and excuse me if I refuse to live in a disgusting pigpen.

Can you tell it hasn't been the best of days?

So because I wanted to slip into my own little universe, I stuck the earbuds in and set This Is War by 30 Seconds To Mars on the iPod to deafening and started going through the old pictures.

It's hard watching your old life play out on a slide show.

And while I was organizing pictures of my previous dogs (that I miss incredibly) and my old house (that I miss more then I want to admit) and my ex (who I don't miss at all but had to deal with painful, painful memories of).. a song called ALIBI started to play on the iPod.

It was just one of those times when a song matched the mood completely and before I knew it I was lamenting all the decisions I've made in my life.. all the wrong turns.. all the hardship and fighting and chaos and disasters and ..well.. stuff.

If the title of this blog fits my life, then this song is it's soundtrack.

Click HERE to hear it (it might download so you'll have to open the file on your 'puter to hear it)

There are the lyrics:

ALIBI - 20 SECONDS TO MARS


No warning sign, no alibi
We faded faster than the speed of light
Took our chance, crashed and burned
No, we'll never ever learn

I fell apart, but I got back up again,
And then I fell apart, but got back up again, 
yeah

We both could see crystal clear,
That the inevitable end was near
Made our choice, a trial by fire, 
To battle is the only way we feel alive

I fell apart, but got back up again,
And then I fell apart, but got back up again, 
And then I fell apart, but got back up again
away oh
away oh
away oh
away oh
away oh
away oh

So here we are, the witching hour, 
The quickest tongue to divide and devour
Divide and devour
If I could end the quest for fire,
For truth, for love, and my desire,
My desire 
And I fell apart, but got back up again
away oh, away oh, away oh, away oh, away oh,
away oh, away oh, away oh, away oh, 

I fell apart, I fell apart, I fell apart, 
I fell apart. I fell apart, 
But got back up again